Tuesday, April 16, 2013

My Sweet Girl

I've been so wrapped up in this pregnancy lately and getting the house ready (can we say insane nesting?) that I've neglected to write anything about my sweet girl Isabella.

She really is just an awesome kid.  She's so sweet and funny and smart, a bit passive at times and a bit sassy at others.

She will belt out "On My Own" from Les Miz with gusto.  She loves to have dance parties in the living room and dress up like a princess.  She loves to play on the monkey bars at the playground and she plays a wicked game of Chutes and Ladders.  She adores her daddy and can't wait to take care of her baby brother or sister.

She loves all things girly and glitter and she's awesome at playing dance party on the wii.  She's like a little shadow following us around because she hates to be in a room by herself, and God-forbid she should play by herself.

She likes to pretend type on the computer and play games on Disney Junior.  She will tell you how Javert isn't bad, he's just misunderstood.  She likes to hear stories about me and my sister when we were kids.  She has a fierce sweet tooth.

She's crazy smart.  Sometimes I forget that she's not even four yet.  She's a perfectionist.  She's way too much like her mother.  She likes everything to be a certain way.  She hates having her hair brushed.  She likes to take showers instead of baths.  It takes her a long time to warm up to people, but once she does she's a big show off.

I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect daughter, I need to remember that on the days where she's really testing me.

And I just wanted to share this because I love it.

Loving Two

As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me” And I hear myself telling you in mine,”I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her — as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times — only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you — only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you — you each have your own supply.
I love you — both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.


Jo said...

She is just gorgeous!

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