Tuesday, May 14, 2013

GET OUT!

I am currently 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  I am over it.  I want this baby on the outside.  I've had about enough of painful contractions that don't do a damn thing.  At my last appointment I was told that the baby is very low (good), cervix is thinned out (great), but I'm barely dilated to a centimeter (WTF?).  That is completely unacceptable to me.

You know what else is getting old...people saying "Oh the baby will come when s/he is ready."  That's just peachy, wanna know something...I'm ready.  Since my uterus is apparently a 5 star hotel that this child does not want to check out of I am officially evicting it.  I'm considering lighting a fire between my legs and smoking the kid out.

Oh and this is also annoying.  The fifty million text messages, phone calls, and conversations that I have about when the baby is coming, how I'm feeling, why I'm still working.  And the thing is I get it...people are just being considerate and concerned, but I have the exact same conversation about 35 times a day.

I don't know when the baby is coming.  Probably never.  I feel like I'm 40+ weeks pregnant.  I'm still working because I only get 6 weeks and I want to spend it at home with the baby that is never coming. Although May 16th will be my last day of work because then we're looking at induction the following week and at that point I wouldn't have to go back to work anyway.

So how do you get an overbaked baby out?

I've tried pineapple but I couldn't eat the core because it's gross.  Didn't work.

I've been walking like a mo fo and while it's helping to keep me fit, it's not working.

I've also been having sex...in the one position that is still viable to us and it's also not working.

I'm squatting, which is giving me a nice tush, but no baby.

I'm really scared of evening primrose oil, red raspberry tea leaf, and castor oil because they're supplements and I'm not sure of the correct dose or what to expect from them.

Any tips or advice?  I go back to the doctor on Thursday so we'll see what she has to say about a plan.  I'm hoping to avoid an induction, but I'm starting to accept it as a possibility.  My office will let me go until 10 days past my EDD, so that would be the 21st.  Here's hoping that Mrs. Petrillo checks out before then.

3 comments:

beckyj @ A Lazy Crazy Life said...

Maybe by Thursday you'll be dilated enough to have your membranes stripped? I had it done with my 3rd at 39 weeks(I was already 4cm and we were worried about a big baby, so the sooner the better in my doctor's opinion) and I started having contractions within a few hours of getting it done. I was in full-blown labor and on my way to the hospital 12 hours later.

Either way, good luck!!

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

I love everything about this post because I know you had baby today! Congrats! Maybe all this ranting and getting fired up is what sent you into labor??? Can't wait to hear the birth story! XOXO

Jo said...

Contratulations! Can't wait to hear all about his/her arrival!

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