Friday, May 24, 2013

Going from 1 to 2 Kids

It has been a little over a week since Arya joined our family taking us from a tight little unit of 3 to a full fledged family of four.  The adjustment has been a bit bumpy at times.  When we first got home from the hospital it really hit me how different things were.  I missed Isabella.  Since I'm breast feeding on demand, most of Arya's care is falling on me.  I can't have dance parties because I'm nursing.  I can't do bedtime because Arya needs to eat again.  I can't run outside with her because I'm still sore from giving birth.  It crushes me with mommy guilt.

I miss watching TV with Andy at night.  I even miss cooking dinner.  And all this makes me feel even guiltier because Arya is just the sweetest little thing and I don't regret having her one bit.  I think I'm in a slight state of mourning for the life that I had while I transition into the new family that I have.

Also, being stuck inside is a big trigger for me.  I need fresh air and to keep busy.  I don't feel the anxiety and sadness I felt when Isabella was first born.  It's been much easier to take care of Arya this time around.  I know how to change a diaper, give a sponge bath, and I expected the exhaustion.  But I still need to get out at least once a day for some fresh air.  Whether it's a trip to the store or a quick walk around the block.

It's been difficult feeling like I'm tethered to the baby, but she's been quite sleepy so I have some time for myself.

I know giving Isabella a sister is one of the greatest gifts I could give her, it just doesn't feel like that just yet.  I'm sure things will settle into place, especially once my little nursling isn't eating every few hours and I'm not taking naps in the day time.  I just miss how easy things were.


Jessica V. said...

I've been following your blog for a while. You were 2 weeks behind me as far as pregnancy goes and it was fun to compare your symptoms to mine.

Anyways. I had our son (our second child) about 5 weeks ago and the adjustment that first week was brutal for me. I felt guilty and I found that I was yelling and getting frustrated at my daughter a lot which is completely not like me. It did get a lot better after that first week but it's still an adjustment. Good days and bad.

Madonna said...

It was a tough transition here too... And we have a small house so I always felt like I was telling E to be quiet. We kept her at the sitter three days a week which let E get out energy and then we tried to take her to the lunch/park or wherever for mommy/daughter or daddy/daughter time. You will find your groove.

Tammy said...

It's a whole new normal you'll have now. But I was more relaxed with my 2nd as well, so that def. helps. Let as many people spoil Isabella while you focus on Arya in the beginning. And don't let your mommy guilt make you forget/forego time to yourself!

Tara Lotufo said...


Second- you will adjust. What you are feeling is normal. I felt the same way and left the hospital 24 hours after giving birth to Max in order to get home to Chloe so that things were as "normal" as possible for her.

I had breakdowns- many of them...this is normal too.

Take walks!!! Fresh air is good for everyone.

Lastly, I dropped off the face of the earth when the renovations started in my house. It's been chaotic and has been like giving birth to a third baby!!! LOL. I will be back in blogging action in a few weeks.

Once again- so happy to see the new baby has arrived! xoxo

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Give it some time girl! Everything is still so fresh! I promise that before you know it, Arya will be toddling around, chasing after her big sis. But isn't it just so much easier in terms of caring for the baby the 2nd time around? I loved how I was so much more relaxed!

PS - I can't believe how good you are at keeping up with your blog already! Super mom blogger!

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