Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps

Ah that's the advice given to all parents isn't it?  Sleep when the baby sleeps.  It's a beautiful pearl of wisdom.  Here are 20 reasons why it's a bunch of horse shit and why it's nearly impossible.

1.  Your house is filled with guests.  Aunt Franny, Grandma, your coworkers, your husbands coworkers, your cousins, and anyone who has ever met you before.  There's something about a new baby that draws a crowd.  I love when the house is full, I just can't leave my husbands boss sitting in the living room while I snooze in the bedroom.

2.  Every piece of clothing you own is covered in some sort of bodily fluid and they need to be washed.

3.  You smell and you need a shower.

4.  You have other children who you are fairly certain will burn the house down if you close your eyes.

5.  Baby's bring a lot of paper work.  Insurance, family leave, doctors visits, and you need to get it done at some point.

6.  You really need to watch the Real Housewives of OC and find out how Slade got the money to pay for that Rolls Royce.

7.  The fruit loop you dropped under the couch two weeks ago is growing hair and you need to sweep it up.

8.  You are literally too exhausted to drag yourself to the bedroom.

9.  Candy Crush is calling your name

10.  You need to update facebook with one million pictures of your new arrival.

11.  You have to squeeze in one quick blog post before it gets trapped forever in your muddled, sleep deprived mommy mind.

12.  The bottles are overflowing the sink and you need to clean them before your eating machine wakes up.

13.  The baby grunts coming from the monitor are keeping you awake...what the hell are they doing in their sleep that they sound like oinking pigs?

14.  Your boobs are so full that if you don't pump out just a wee bit you're fairly certain that they will turn into sacs of rocks.

15.  Your teeth are more in need of a good brushing than anything else.

16.  You were going to take a nap, but then decided just to hold your little one and watch how peacefully they sleep.

17.  Every time you try to put your sleeping bundle down her eyes pop open like ping pong balls.

18.  You're a little bit scared that if you close your eyes that you might sleep for a few days straight.

19.  Sometimes you wake up from a nap and you're well rested, but other times you feel like you've gone through a time shift and you're not quite sure what decade you're in or what day it is.

20.  Your baby doesn't nap.


Jessica V. said...

Haha! I love this! Exactly how I feel right now with my 6 week old!

john devis said...

The points are mentioned to protecting the baby dental health are wonderful. Dental health for babies can be critical condition so we must follow the ways mentioned to avoid dental infections. Thanks for making us conscious about babies dental care.
Dental implants in Encino

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