Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Cries

Sometimes...I get the cries.  I just get overwhelmed with emotion and the tears just flow.  I come off as a little bit of a sarcastic hard ass, but the thing is is that I'm really very sensitive and I have a lot of feelings.

I'll cry because I'm overwhelmed with the demands of new motherhood and balancing Isabella's needs with Arya's.  

I'll cry because I look at Arya's newborn face when she sleeps and I see her eyes flutter or her lips twitch and it just fills me with such awe that I could love such a tiny creature so fiercely.

I'll cry because Andy will look at me and tell me that I'm doing such a great job even though I've been in yoga pants all day and I spent Arya's 3 hour nap watching the Real Housewives of OC on demand and my teeth haven't been brushed in a day and a half.  

I'll cry because Isabella will cry to sit on my lap while I'm nursing her sister and it's not fair that I don't have an extra lap or an extra set of hands.  

I'll cry because all I want to do is Isabella's bedtime routine and she only wants her daddy to do it. 

I'll cry because every day my babies grow a little more.  Isabella will be in pre-school 5 full days next year and Arya will be my last little baby and each day she grows a little bit bigger and a little bit stronger.  I know how fast the years fly and I can't slow it down.  

I cry at the thought of Andy going back to work...he's been such a huge help and I'm so fortunate that he gets to stay home for the first six weeks.  I'm so used to having him around that I get anxiety when I think about him not being here and me managing a very demanding four year old and an infant on my own.  Especially when he goes back to midnights.  I think I might cry everyday he's gone.  

I cried the other day because the valence's for the baby's room still aren't up.  

I'm just so filled with emotions lately...good and bad.  I'm not sure if it's the hormones or the adjustments or if I'm just going soft, but there's definitely been a lot of tears springing lately.  


Angela said...

I have found having two an emotional journey. I think sometimes it's the feelings of being so overwhelmed and realizing how fast time really does go. Mine are four and one.

Tamara Camera said...

I cried when Scarlet started preferring her dad do bedtime because of the nauseously pregnant, and then busy with a baby nights I started to have. And I cry because my baby, probably my last, turns one tomorros. It's all such an emotional journey! So much! I find life much smoother now that he's older and my body/hormones have shifted back, but still, reading this makes me cry a bit! It's the older one's last day of school and it's the younger ones's last day of being a "baby" so I'm particularly weepy.

Michelle Nahom said...

I cry all the time. When I hear sad news on the tv, I get teary eyed. My kids will ask me why I am crying because I didn't know the people and I say you will understand when you have kids!

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