Monday, July 8, 2013

Bad Parenting Advice

Most people mean well when they give you parenting advice.  I know that I've asked for it, sometimes begged for it from my friends and on this blog and usually most people will share their advice and what worked for them...however some advice is just down right sucky.

Sleep when the baby sleeps- Sometimes Arya's naps are 30 minutes and sometimes they're an hour.  I would just lie in bed terrified of when she would wake up.  Nothing is worse than falling into a deep sleep just to be woken up a few minutes later.  The only time I'd take this advice is if I didn't have to take care of her or feed her when she woke up.  And most of the time I'm just running a mental to-do list.  I'm also fairly sure Isabella isn't letting me take a nap anytime soon.

Enjoy every moment- There are a lot of moments with my children that I enjoy...like when Arya breaks the latch while nursing to smile at me or when Isabella she tells me she loves me out of no where, but there are a ton of moments that I don't enjoy.  For example, when I'm pacing the floor at 4 am for an hour and my eyes are so tired that they burn into my skull.  I could live without those moments.  Or when I'm cleaning up a blowout diaper that has poop up to the baby's shoulders...I can pass on those moments too.  When I'm at Target and Isabella is screaming because she thinks the purple lingerie is a dress and she wants it.  Not every moment is enjoyable and I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to want things to go slow, so we can savor each second.  I think it's ok to wish some moments away.

Hold them, they'll only be little once- This advice is great for maybe the first month or so and then it starts getting pretty old.  I can love on my baby when she's in her swing and I can read to her when she's in her bouncy, I can also eat something and do laundry as well.  Holding her is great up until a point....usually the point where my back starts hurting and my arms ache.  Then it's totally cool to put them down and clean up the poop from the nursery wall.

Feed them on a schedule- The most annoying thing people say to me is "Is she eating again?" "Didn't she just eat?"  Breastmilk is more easily digested than formula, so where a formula fed baby may eat every 4 hours a breast fed baby may need to eat every 2 hours.  During cluster feeds it's practically non-stop nursing.  Do you eat on a strict schedule or do you snack?  Same thing with babies, maybe they want a quick drink or a long meal, I'm not going to let my baby cry or go hungry to adhere to some parent directed feeding schedule.  And you can bet your ass I'm not waking her up in the middle of the night.  That's just nuts (unless there's a medical/weight issue, then it's totally not nuts)

What are some pearls of wisdom that haven't panned out for you?

3 comments:

Jackie said...

Love this! People have no clue! The "didn't she just eat" thing killed me! I mean, seriously. Yes, yes she did just eat and she will eat again in another 10 minutes.

Kristin Faulkenberry said...

Worst parenting advice.. oh theres alot! I'm a first time mom, but gee whiz, I'm not stupid.
someone suggested that I stop giving her my breast milk, that maybe it was making her upset b/c she spit up-- She spit up ONE time..
Oh yeh and that I was using the wrong pacifiers, the ones from the hospital were all wrong--what? I think the hospital knows what they are doing. And if she keeps it in her mouth better than the one you are saying is the right one..um hello?? (sorry just a little rampage rambling going on in my world) lol
I'm sure your doing an awesome job! Seems that way to me, keep at it!

Tuco said...

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