Thursday, September 5, 2013

Sayonara Summer

After almost 4 months off it's back to work for this mama.  I'm kind of in a weird place about starting the new school year.

On one hand I'm really excited to get back into a routine.  I need routine to thrive.  Without a routine my mind goes into dark and twisty corners.  It's not pretty.  Sometimes I hate the routine, but I know that I need it.  I'm also excited to be able to get dressed each day and be able to talk to adults.  September is also a really great month because students are typically on their best behavior.  It's also beneficial to my diet when I can't nosh and graze all day because I'm home.

It will also give me a break from taking care of Arya.  Isabella is relatively easy to parent and keep happy, but Arya's a whole other story for no other fact than she's a baby.  She eats a lot, poops a lot, takes a lot of naps that are a huge pain in the ass to give.  I hate giving naps.  I could see if all that shhhing and rocking and nursing led to a three hour nap, but it doesn't so I hate them.  Plus, it's either Andy or my mom watching Arya (Isabella will be in school) so I know she's in good hands.

On the other hand I'm very nervous to leave the baby.  Sometimes nursing is the only thing that will comfort her and I hate to think of her all upset and crying and wanting me and I'm not there.  It hurts my mama heart to think that she'll be sad.  What if she thinks I abandoned her?  I'll also have to pump at work and the only thing I hate more than giving naps is pumping.  I'll have to pump in the morning before I leave (if she's still sleeping), once before work, once at lunch, and once on the way home.  That's a lot of pumping.  It's a good thing I have my car adaptor.

I'll also hate getting up early.  Not that my kids let me snooze all day, but Isabella usually wakes up around 8 and Arya gets up around 6:30 BUT if I bring her in bed and nurse her there, she'll usually fall back asleep for an hour or so.  I'll miss having coffee while coloring with Isabella.  I'll miss hanging out with my mom when she comes over to help with the kids.

I'm anticipating that this year will not be as easy as last year because, in addition to having another wee babe, I'll have all of Isabella's school stuff to worry about.

Once I can survive September I'm sure things will settle into themselves.


2 comments:

Jo said...

Good luck with all the changes, I'm sure you'll all do wonderfully

Madonna said...

You will come through this transition like you have the others. When I went back to work at 6 weeks after having Alec, our daycare provider got him on a better schedule than what I was able to do and it was nice. I hope that something like that happens with Arya and her naps.

E just started UPK, and it's starting to get crazy. But I'm looking forward to her having something a little more challenging to focus her energy on. And then maybe we can have better quality time when we both get home.

Good luck with the new school year!

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