Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Sleep Training

Could you let that sweet face cry? 
Guys...I'm sleepy.  Sometimes it's just a lingering feeling of being tired, a lack of energy.  Other times I'm using toothpicks to prop my eyelids up and I'm one grunt away from being cast as an extra in The Walking Dead.  Some nights my girl is only up once, eats and goes back to bed.  Other nights we're up and down like a jack-in-the-box on crack.

Arya is almost 5 months old (crazy right?).  The window for sleep training and the need for it are quickly approaching.  All of the pseudoscientists and parenting authors seem to agree that the ideal time for sleep training is between 4-6 months, any sooner and your kid will probably develop some sort of attachment disorder and carry a blankie around with him until puberty.  Any later and your kid will probably become some sleep deprived sociopath.  So you see, there's really only a small window for a child to become a productive member of society and I don't want to miss it.

But guys, I really don't want to sleep train.

I suppose I should clarify because there are a ton of ways to sleep train without crying: pick-up-put-down, drowsy, but awake, bedtime routine.  Sleep training is really just teaching a baby to go to sleep on her own.  I just don't know if I have the heart to let her cry.  I don't mind letting her fuss a bit or whine a little in her crib before I go in and get her.  I mean that full on crying where they lose their breath, so sad to me.

I used Weisbleuth's method of Cry It Out (CIO) with Isabella when she was 6 months old and it worked wonders. Isabella was a keeper, but not a sleeper.  Within three nights she was sleeping through the night.  The first night she cried for 20 minutes, the second and third barely even 10.  But she was up 3-4 times a night every night.  She really needed it and I knew she did.  Arya's not that bad.  She's not that good, but she's not that bad.

Here's the thing.  She's my last little baby.  Our family is finished growing and I don't want her to cry for me in the night.  This time I know how fast it goes.  I know that the days are long, but the years are short.  I know that one day she won't want me in the middle of the night and there will be nothing I can do to keep her fears away, but right now I'm all that she needs.

A part of me selfishly wants to keep her dependent on her mama because I see how independent Isabella has become.  How sometimes I'll ask her if she wants me to make her lunch and she'll just go to the fridge and grab a yogurt all by herself.  I'll ask her if she wants me to take her to the bathroom and she just says, "I can go by myself."  So proud and so sad at the same time.  I wish I would have lingered over her babyhood a bit more than I did, instead of rushing it to the next milestone.

I know that Arya needs to sleep, and honestly we do too.  But I'm just feeling really conflicted about letting her cry.  I know Andy is all for it and I always was a big proponent for it as well, but it just doesn't feel right this time.  Not yet anyway.   Maybe I haven't hit my breaking point yet.  Maybe I'm a different type of mother this time around, a bit softer.  Maybe what they say is really true and no two babies are alike.  We'll have to see, but for right now I'm shelving the cry it out.  It doesn't feel right to me right now and that's what I'm going on.


VITA Train for Life said...

You have to trust those motherly instincts! Crying it out is a horrible process. I'm so glad that one's over!

I wanted to stop by your blog because I'm reading your book and I LOVE it!!! One of my fav lines was "she's getting lint for a tip!" OMG! When you wrote about standing on the toilet to see your belly I almost died. Imagine my surprise at the ending!! I dare say it was one of my favs in a book that is filled with them!! GREAT, GREAT story!!!...hope I didn't give too much away.

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

I was in the same boat with Landon. I sleep trained Leila, but just couldn't bring myself to let Landon cry for some reason. I think it does have to do with knowing how fast the grow up. Around 11 months he finally figured the whole sleeping through the night thing on his own. And now I don't even remember the pain of waking up 7 times each night.

Jo said...

Do what works for you ... you have to live with yourself.

Kristin Faulkenberry said...

Yes do what makes you feel comfortable. My little one is four months old, sleeps through the night- but... she sleeps in the bed with us. Thats how we like it. For now anyways.

Melissa G. said...

It was like an out of body experience!

Melissa G. said...

I think forgetting is the key to more than one child.

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