Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Breastfeeding Concerns

Not long ago I wrote a post about my desire to breastfeed successfully and longer this go around.  I'm reading the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and I'm finding it extremely informative and helpful, but it does bring up some concerns that I have.

I'm not really a "crunchy" mom.  I'm down with breastfeeding and baby wearing and making your own baby food if that's what floats your boat.  I've certainly done all of them, but I'm not the type of mom who wants to be attached to the baby 24/7 forever.

I like spending some time by myself or with my friends or with my husband and the book makes it seems like my job is to be a milk machine, not just in those first few weeks/months when you're in a motherhood fog anyway, but for like your whole life.

I'm also really not trying to forgo an epidural in order to get bf'ing off to a smoother start.  You can call me selfish in that regard, I've certainly been called worse.

So I have a few more concerns to throw at your feet.

1.  Can I successfully breastfeed with medical interventions during delivery?

2.  Can I bf even if I don't co-sleep?

3.  Can I bf, while still offering bottles of expressed milk?

4.  What should I expect in those first few weeks?  I forget what it was was like or more likely, I blocked it out.

5.  Do I have to be completely attached to baby 24/7?  A shower alone or a walk with Isabella sound pretty important to me?

Monday, April 29, 2013

38 Weeks

How far along?  38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Up 23 lbs
Stretch marks? Yes, but only on the left side of my stomach.  Weird huh?
Sleep? It's hit and miss.  Some nights I'm out like a rock, other nights I'm up constantly.  It is what it is.  Pregnant sleep is like a billion times better than newborn baby sleep anyway.  I'll be saving up my complaining for then. 
Best moment last week? We had a big surprise party for my mom and it was really nice to see all my cousins and their kids. 
Movement? It looks like an alien is trying to bust out of there.
Food cravings? cookies, ice cream and milk
Food aversions?  chicken and onions
Gender? Team Green
Labor signs? Inconsistent and untimeable contractions.  Hopefully things get a bit more regular in the next week or two
Belly button in/out? Out
What I miss: Being able to get out of bed without grunting and groaning and standing up without feeling like every part of my body is stiff like the tin man. 
What I am looking forward to: Baby coming!  Could be any day now.  
Milestones: I haven't killed anyone that has crossed my path, even though I'm sure most of them deserve it.  

Friday, April 26, 2013

Isabella Update


First, I'd like to thank all of you for your advice and input when I wrote THIS POST about Isabella being a bit sad/withdrawn at school.

Andy and I have made a conscious effort not to talk too much about the new baby this week and to make sure she was getting lots of attention from us as individuals and together as a family.  I think we've both been a bit preoccupied with all the things that needed to get done before the baby arrives.  And while we haven't had an actual fight in front of her, we've absolutely been a bit tense lately.  So we made sure to work on that.

I'm happy to report that Isabella had a much better week this week.  She was active and playful in preschool.  She participated in dance class.  She made new friends at the park.  She engaged in story time at the library.

Maybe she just didn't have the vocabulary to express that she's anxious about the upcoming changes in our family dynamic.  Maybe she picked up some of our tension and anxiety.  Maybe she was just having a bad week.

I'm anticipating some other behavioral issues once the baby is actually a real life, squalling presence in our life, but for now she's still the star of the show and we've been making sure she knows how much she is loved.

For those of you who suggested that abuse might be an issue, I'd just like to put your mind at rest.  I appreciate your concern, but I can nearly 100% guarantee you that no one is hurting her either physically or emotionally.  She's only ever with me, Andy, my mom or my sister if she's not at school.  I think it much more likely that she's going through a phase, especially since there's so much I can't do with her anymore (carry her for long periods, wrestle around with her, etc)

Thanks for the advice and suggestions!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Stretch Marks

Whelp I made it through one entire pregnancy completely unscathed from those angry red streaks.  Then I made it 8.5 months through another pregnancy before they finally reared their ugly head.  I was so smug too.

I knew I should have been nicer in high school.

Now I know that some women call them a badge of honor, the true mark of a pregnant warrior.  Blah, blah, blah.  I think they're ugly and vile and I hate them.  I think some women just delude themselves with that stretch mark empowerment crap to make themselves feel better.  I kind of wish I could do the same, but I can't because I don't want stretch marks!

I don't even understand why I had to get them.  I didn't gain an excessive amount of weight.  I used coconut oil/coco butter/ moisturizer religiously.  My stomach did get bigger in this pregnancy, but not hugely big.  I don't understand!!!  It's not fair.  ::pouts in the corner::

stretch marks
I call malarky on this one.
But pissing and moaning about them isn't going to help them go away, and I'm sure more will crop up in the next few weeks or even after delivery.

I know there's nothing you can do to make them completely go away, but they can be forced into submission right?  I heard bio oil is good.  

Who knows how to fade these red beasts on my belly?  How long does it take for them to fade?  What should I expect?

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Ever Want to Kill Your Husband?

Sometimes we all do!

To see the top ten reasons why I want to inflict bodily harm on Andy check out my newest post for Parent Society.

http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/top-10-reasons-you-may-want-to-kill-your-spouse/


Getting Delusional

When I was pregnant with Isabella my head was filled with delusions of grandeur.  I imagined white, billowing, gauzy curtains where I would sit in the rocking chair with the sunlight streaming in and she and I would play and nurse and it was magical.  Never mind that I never purchased white gauzy curtains.  I imagined her, Andy and I lounging in bed with her smiling and cooing up at us.

Sigh.

It left me very unprepared for the challenges of new motherhood.  The squalling.  The poop.  The witching hour.  The dirty laundry piled up.  The incessant stream of visitors.

Dude, motherhood was not what I pictured.

So this time I kept my mind clear of delusions.  No one was gonna pull the wool over my eyes.  And I've been good.  Imagining life with a new baby, but trying to keep it realistic.  I envisioned Isabella throwing tantrums.  Me drinking coffee.  And the new baby crying all night long.

Until recently.

Now that D-day is getting closer, I'm starting to slip into old delusions.  Windows, sunlight and all.  It's a pretty picture, but not so realistic.  Or maybe this time it will be...

Or maybe I just don't learn my lesson!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Sprinkle of Happiness

My sister threw me an amazing sprinkle.  She really outdid herself and I couldn't feel more grateful or blessed to be surrounded by a group of such amazing women that I am proud to call my friends and family.

The theme was "Pop" as in I'm about to pop.

Ready to pop cake

Ready to pop baby shower


Ready to pop baby shower

Ready to pop baby shower

We all had a great time and Mrs. Petrillo got some serious swag.  It won't be long now and I can't wait!

Monday, April 22, 2013

37 Weeks

How far along?  37 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Up 22 lbs
Stretch marks? They were late to the party, but they have sadly made an appearance 9 months into my second pregnancy.  Le sigh
Sleep? I keep having either really good dreams about the baby that wake me up or dreams where Andy is trying to murder me.  Either way I'm awake waxing nostalgic for Mrs. Petrillo or keeping one eye on my snoring husband making sure he isn't up to something.
Best moment last week? Getting my free (covered) breast pump.
Movement? I think the baby is trying to dig its way out of my butt.  
Food cravings? Oreos and milk.  
Food aversions?  chicken and onions
Gender? Team Green
Labor signs? The BH's that have plagued me the past months have vanished, now when I wouldn't even mind them.  
Belly button in/out? Out
What I miss: Being able to tie my own shoes.  Thank God the weather is warm and I can slip on some nice flats or flip flops
What I am looking forward to: The fact that baby could come any time now.  It could be 3 minutes or in 3 weeks.  
Milestones: Full term!  It would be nice to meet baby soon and I'm pretty much over being pregnant, but I'd like to keep the baby cooking at least another two weeks, if not three just so I won't have to go back to work for a long time before school lets out for summer.  I hate pumping at work. 

Here I am in my 37 week ginormity


37 weeks pregnant

And just so you know I have more than one shirt

3rd trimester




Thursday, April 18, 2013

Withdrawn Preschooler

I'm kind of at a loss here regarding Isabella.  Usually she's very friendly and bubbly.  Lately she's gotten a bit shy/ reserved, but she always warms up to her crazy vivacious self.

However when Andy picked her up from school last week the teacher said that both days of class she's been really withdrawn and sad.  She wouldn't participate in circle time and her teacher had to hold her hand when they were marching around the classroom because she just stood there.  I asked her about it and she said she just felt like not doing anything those days.  I was worried, but decided not to make a huge thing of it...maybe it's just an off week for her.

But then at dance school on Saturday her teacher said that she refused to dance.  She wouldn't participate.  I asked the teacher if she'd ever done that before and she said never.  I mentioned it to Isabella and she said that she tried to talk to a girl, but the girl wouldn't answer her.  Now I'm getting really concerned.

We had a birthday party this past Saturday where all her cousins would be at and she clung to me for a lot of the party and then awkwardly interacted with her two best cousins.  She kind of warmed up at the end, but wouldn't even speak to another adult besides me.

I told my mom about what happened and she said that when she took her to the library for story time that she played with the kids afterwards, but during the story she only would sit on her lap.

Then it got me thinking to when my sister and I took her to the park and she insisted that we play with her, just in case she couldn't make a friend.

She's fine at home.  I would never have realized something was off if her teachers hadn't mentioned something in the first place.

Now it could just be her way of manifesting any pent up anxiety about the baby coming next month.  The nursery is ready.  Andy has been really busy getting the yard set up.  I've been at dr's appointments at least once a week until late.  There have been hospital tours and breast feeding classes where a young child just can't tag a long.  I usually try to make my dr's appointments later in the evening so she can come with me, but since I'm limited as to when I can go I can't always get them at a later time, although I do have two coming up that will give me enough time to pick her up after work so she can come with us.  Andy and I have been busy getting things set up and maybe she's picking up on the anxiety and disconnect?

Or maybe she's having some trouble at school that we're not aware of.  I sent her teacher an e-mail asking her to keep an eye out for anything that might be causing her to withdraw.

withdrawnIt just breaks my heart to see her feeling so anxious.  I just want to put my sweetheart in a bubble and keep her safe and full of life and self-confidence.  I know that's not realistic and I know that for someone who is sensitive like she is (as am I ) that things will get under her skin and people will hurt her.  But she's not even four and I hate that she's going through something and I don't know what it is or what I can do to help or if I should back off completely.

What I can do is make sure she knows how loved she is at home.  Maybe a little family down time where we are not rushing to this play date or that birthday party.

It's definitely the main concern on my mind lately.  Do you guys have any advice or have been through something similar?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Progress

I've been pretty much bitching the entire pregnancy about how Andy's been pussy footing around getting the nursery done, but after months of nagging gentle reminders, there's been a ton of progress.

Let me show you:

This is how it looked when we first moved in.



Then we stripped off the entire wall paper because it was gross.



Then Andy decided that the room needed new insulation, so stripping the wallpaper was a waste of time because the walls were coming down, as was the ceiling.  



Then the walls went back up and we had to paint them.





Then we put in Isabella's old furniture.  


Now all it needs are window treatments and some decorations.  We'll probably wait to see if the baby is a boy or a girl to decorate because I haven't fallen in love with any gender neutral type nurseries.  So it's ready and we're ready for whatever is coming.  




Tuesday, April 16, 2013

My Sweet Girl

I've been so wrapped up in this pregnancy lately and getting the house ready (can we say insane nesting?) that I've neglected to write anything about my sweet girl Isabella.

She really is just an awesome kid.  She's so sweet and funny and smart, a bit passive at times and a bit sassy at others.

She will belt out "On My Own" from Les Miz with gusto.  She loves to have dance parties in the living room and dress up like a princess.  She loves to play on the monkey bars at the playground and she plays a wicked game of Chutes and Ladders.  She adores her daddy and can't wait to take care of her baby brother or sister.

She loves all things girly and glitter and she's awesome at playing dance party on the wii.  She's like a little shadow following us around because she hates to be in a room by herself, and God-forbid she should play by herself.

She likes to pretend type on the computer and play games on Disney Junior.  She will tell you how Javert isn't bad, he's just misunderstood.  She likes to hear stories about me and my sister when we were kids.  She has a fierce sweet tooth.

She's crazy smart.  Sometimes I forget that she's not even four yet.  She's a perfectionist.  She's way too much like her mother.  She likes everything to be a certain way.  She hates having her hair brushed.  She likes to take showers instead of baths.  It takes her a long time to warm up to people, but once she does she's a big show off.

I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect daughter, I need to remember that on the days where she's really testing me.


And I just wanted to share this because I love it.


Loving Two

As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me” And I hear myself telling you in mine,”I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her — as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times — only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you — only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you — you each have your own supply.
I love you — both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.


Monday, April 15, 2013

36 Weeks

How far along?  36 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Up 21 lbs
Stretch marks? I've counted 2.  One old and one new.  We'll see how I fare after delivery.  You know I love to show you guys gross things on my body.
Sleep? I'm assuming I'll be reaquainted with sleep in about 6 months or so if I'm lucky
Best moment last week? Nursery is 90% done
Movement? Tons...this is a very active baby
Food cravings? chocolate chip cookie dough from Ben and Jerry's
Food aversions?  chicken
Gender? Team Green
Labor signs? Some pelvic pressure, like I feel like I have to hold the baby in with a kegal
Belly button in/out? Out
What I miss: Feeling comfortable in my own body.  It feels so foreign to me now
What I am looking forward to: Hitting full term next week.  Crazy right?
Milestones: none

Thursday, April 11, 2013

I'm Not (That) Miserable

So I've been rereading my latest blog posts, which is something I almost never do because once I hit the "publish" button I decide that everything I just wrote is complete drivel and doesn't sound anything like it did in my head.

But holy cranky ass batman! I've been quite whiney and complainy about this pregnancy, probably from the beginning, but definitely lately.  And while I won't renege...I very much dislike being pregnant.  I'm big, I'm uncomfortable, I'm annoyed with people's comments.  It's messing with my lifestyle...no drinking, no heels, no cute clothes, no good sex.

BUT

I am getting very excited to meet this baby.  I can't wait to see if it will be a boy or a girl.  What will Mrs. Petrillo look like?  What kind of baby will s/he be?  What will it be like to have a newborn around the house again?  How will Isabella adjust to being a big sister?  So many exciting things on the horizon.  I know that there will be really difficult times and that adjusting to lack of sleep while taking care of a very demanding almost 4 year old, but I'm ready for this next chapter to begin.

I'm excited to become a family of four.  I'm even a little bit excited about the idea of staying in pajamas all day taking care of the newborn and throwing the cleaning list to the wolves.

So while I grow weary of the bump and the body aches, I am really ready to meet this wee babe.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Letting Go

There are a lot of things that I can control...what I make for dinner, how I teach a reading lesson, and where I'm taking Isabella on the weekend.  Those are the things that I can make decisions about, I can set them in stone and move on with my life.  But there are a ton of things that I can't control, like who will come to Isabella's birthday party, when the baby will come, how long it will take my husband to get his ass in gear and tear down the old play set in the back yard and put up the new one.

I tend to worry over things I can't control.  Lately, I've been worrying about when Mrs. Petrillo will come.  My due date is May 11th (how terrifyingly close is that?) and as much as I hate being pregnant, especially now when everything hurts and I'm a big giant whale baby, I actually wouldn't mind being a few days over due so I can parlay my maternity leave into summer vacation.  If I go on my due date, I'd have to go back for the last three days.  I just don't want to go early and have to go back for like 2 or 3 weeks.  It sounds bratty, I know, but I'm really always thinking about when s/he will come.

I've been really uncomfortable lately and I've been stressing out about the amount of pains I have and if it means that my body is getting prepared for labor.  But I'm just making myself crazy because baby will come when baby is ready and there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it.

I need to let go.  Let go of the worry.  Let go of the stress.  Let go of obsessing about if the house is clean, even though my nesting instincts would have me on my hands and knees cleaning grout with a toothbrush.  It would be easier if someone would tell me how to let go, but nonetheless, I'm going to try and let go.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Breastfeeding

Breast feeding was something that I've always felt strongly about.  I'm not a fanatic by any means, but I knew it was an avenue I wanted to explore when I was first pregnant with Isabella.  It wasn't as natural and beautiful as I imagined it would be, but then again nothing was.

I struggled with low supply, but in hindsight I really kind of jumped the gun on formula and pumping.  I think the real issue was lack of support.  All my husband knew was that the baby was crying and I was miserable.  My mother, who didn't breast feed us, was constantly saying things like, "How do you know how much she's getting?"  "Aren't you worried she's not getting enough?"  I was a brand new mom and scared to death I was starving my child.

It was a huge source of my anxiety and depression after Isabella was born.  Why couldn't I make enough milk?  Why did I hate pumping so badly?  Why did I have to supplement with formula?  I felt like a complete failure.  I realize now, with my 20/20 hindsight boobie vision that I was just unprepared, inexperienced, and ill equiped.


I really thought breastfeeding would be natural and just come to me, so I didn't prepare myself.  Now, I know better.  So I'm all signed up for a breast feeding class at the hospital, with Andy so he can support me better and I just bought the book The Motherly Art of Breast Feeding and the first chapter already pissed me off because it made me feel like the only way to breastfeed effectively is to co-sleep, which is just not for me.  However, I'm going to keep reading since it came highly recommended from a lot of women.

With Isabella I was able to accomplish a mix of breast feeding, formula feeding, and pumping (God how I loathed pumping), but she stopped receiving breast milk at around 3 or 4 months.  I'm hoping to exclusively breast feed for at least 6 months this time around.  But I'm not going in with that attitude that it's the be all and end all of motherhood.  I'm going to arm myself with knowledge and set a goal, but I'm also going to be kind to myself.

Do you have any breast feeding tips and tricks or resources that you think would be helpful?  Also is breastfeeding one word or two?  When I spell it as one it comes up underlined in that angry red, but when I google it as two it corrects it as one.  For the sake of this post I just did both.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Where I've Been

I just wrote an article for Parent Society giving parents 5 ways to help make learning not feel like learning for their child.  I usually write wearing my mom hat, so it was nice to write as an educator for a bit.

Go check it out and if you like it share it on your various sites of social media

5 Ways to Make Learning Not Feel Like Learning.

35 Weeks

How far along?  35 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Up 20 lbs
Stretch marks? Unfortunately I do have a few cropping up on my stomach.  They're not red or purple, but a whitish silver, I'm assuming they'll turn angry after the baby is born.  This makes me sad.  
Sleep? I wake up a lot trying to get comfy 
Best moment last week? Another healthy check up.  Baby is head down, but not engaged yet so we're on the right track.  
Movement? Tons...this is a very active baby
Food cravings? Macaroni and cheese
Food aversions?  chicken
Gender? Team Green
Labor signs? Some pelvic pressure, but that's about it
Belly button in/out? Out
What I miss: Being able to get out of bed without wishing I had a forklift
What I am looking forward to: Finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl
Milestones: 35/35...35 weeks pregnant with 35 days left.  

Friday, April 5, 2013

Out of the Corner of My Eye

There's something about this house that's been kind of driving me nuts.  Every so often I'll see something, right at the corner of my eye...like a shadow or a figure.  It's a subtle movement that causes me to turn quickly only to find nothing there.

corner of my eyeIt's starting to bug me out.

My first thought went immediately to ghost, because that's the logical explanation, then to ghoul, spirit or demon.  Obviously right?  But then I'm thinking maybe I'm just not used to the way the light plays in the new digs or the fact that there are so many windows (and no window treatments because I don't know what I want) to reflect passing cars or people.

We've lived here for about 3 months and it still catches me all the time.  It freaks me out.  Sometimes I think maybe it's a serial killer stalking me, but I think he'd be bored of me by now.

Whatever it is: killer, demon, or passing car...it's starting to mess with my head!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Ten Worst Things About Being Pregnant

Having a baby is wonderful.  Being pregnant...not at all as glamorous as Kim K. makes it out to be.  Even if you like being pregnant (I'm hearing these women actually exist), you can't like the whole 9 months.  You can't.  It's just not possible.  Here's my list of the top ten worst things about being pregnant.  I'm capping the list at 10 as a measure to avoid the hate e-mail from "those moms".

1.  Queasy much?

It sucks when the smell of a chicken on a farm 8 miles away can make you toss your cookies.  That first trimester made me think of college when I'd cling to the bed and make empty promises to God that if He just let me throw up I'd never drink again.  The only difference is I didn't have the drunken evening prior to make it worth while.  Nope.  Just a lot of nauseau.

2.  Mood Swings

I may have started out a little chemically imbalanced and pre-disposed to being bat shit crazy, but once you infuse me with pregnancy hormones I can really go off the deep end.  I really thought I was going to punch Andy in the face the other day.  He totally would have deserved it, but I felt my body get hot and my fists clenched and I had to run into the bedroom and cry for 2 hours just to keep myself from physically harming him.  Crazy right?  I also get really sad if there's no more Cadbury cream eggs and very angry if all the dishes are done except one.

3.  Weight Gain

I hate seeing the number on the scale go up.  Hate it.  I know it's supposed to and I know that there's nothing I can do about it, but I get a pit in my stomach when I have to get weighed in at the doctor's office.

4.  Aches and Pains

My feet hurt.  My back hurts.  It feels like my vagina is going to fall off.

5.  BOOBS

I know that most women love the fuller breasts that pregnancy provides, but I was really busty to begin with.  They're huge.  They spill out of my bra and they're all National Geographical.  Plus they are heavy, which contributes to my back pain (see #4).  I'm seriously thinking of hiring Peter Dinklage to carry them around for me.  The bra's aren't helping and he's just the right height to help me out.  I can't ask a child to do it because of those pesky labor laws.

6.  Maternity Clothes

Some of them are cute and elastic waisted pants are never a bad thing, but after a while you get so sick of looking at them and at the end of pregnancy when even your maternity clothes don't fit, it's a really sad state.  And don't give me that hog wash about accessorizing.  No statement necklace is going to take away the fact that I've turned into some sort of beast.

7.  You Can't Drink

Drinking is fun.  You can have a glass of wine to unwind or an ice cold beer to catch a buzz, but not when you're pregnant.  Oh, it's a big no-no and even if you have a half glass of red every so often, it doesn't achieve its purpose.  You also can't go to bars without getting the side eye.

8.  Delivery

You've put that baby in your uterus and now you have to squeeze that 7 pounder out of your vaj hole or get it sliced out.  Good fucking luck with that one.

9.  Rude Comments

"You really popped"  "You sure you're gonna make it until May?"  "You're face didn't change at all this pregnancy, not like it did with your last one." Fuck you.  Fuck you. Fuck you.

10.  Redundancy 

When are you due?  How are you feeling?  What are you having?  Do you have any names picked out?  Fun and exciting to answer at first, but by month 6 or 7 you're ready just to hand out business cards with all the important info.

Did I miss anything?

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Slowing Down

I'm a full on Type A kind of person.  I have a really difficult time letting go of control or slowing down.  I have an even more difficult time asking for help.  However, I am 8 months pregnant and my body is screaming at me to slow down.

Andy's been wrapped up in working on the nursery and there's lots of talk about dry wall and spackle and primer and paint and trim, so I've been handling the bulk of the child care and household chores.  I can feel the toll it's taking on me.  My back hurts.  My feet throb.  My varicose veins bulge.  I can't catch my breath.  My knees feel sore.  My uterus contracts.

I need to slow down.

Between running around after Isabella, doing crafts, having dance parties, going to play dates and day trips and cooking dinner, cleaning up the house, and fitting in exercise I feel like I'm just spread too thin.

So I'm trying to force myself to slow it down.  I've started by asking for help.  I've asked Andy and my mom to pitch in with the chores around the house.  So I'll ask Andy to take care of the floors for the week and my mom to stay on top of kitchen duty, then I can just focus on the easier stuff like dusting and windexing.  I'm also looking into having someone come in twice a month to help out with the cleaning.  I think that will be well worth the cost, especially after Mrs. Petrillo comes.

I'm also having to let things go a bit.  So what if the linen closet isn't pin worthy?  So what if I can only squeeze in 30 minutes of yoga instead of 45?  It's not the end of the world.  I need to let my body rest when it needs to. And, let's face it, once baby comes there won't be much down time at all.

It's not that anybody superimposes these expectations on me.  Andy's not yelling at me to clean the floors or to take Isabella to the park, I totally do it to myself.

So I'm trying my best to let go of the nesting instinct and put the Type A in a cage somewhere in the back of my mind.  Not sure how successful I'll be, but I sure am getting uncomfortable enough to try and slow it down.

Monday, April 1, 2013

34 Weeks

How far along?  34 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Up 19 lbs, I have been eating easter candy like it's my job
Stretch marks? Just that one silver rogue one that I can't decide if it's old or new  
Sleep? Meh, I'm up a lot trying to get comfortable 
Best moment last week? Finally the nursery is almost done!
Movement? Yes, my stomach moves like something out of the exorcist
Food cravings? Cadbury cream eggs.  Yummmmmm
Food aversions?  chicken
Gender? Team Green
Labor signs? Just some more intense BH's and pelvic pressure
Belly button in/out? Out
What I miss: Drinking wine.  Wine with the fam on Easter would have been awesome
What I am looking forward to: Maternity leave.  It's going to be nice not to have to truck it into brooklyn every day.
Milestones: 90% survivability if baby is born early...which I really don't want.