Tuesday, February 25, 2014

In the Fringe

I'm having a bit of a friends issue lately.  I know it's been a while since I've written about my friendships because actually all my ducks have been in a row lately in regards to that sector of my life.  I used to think that we needed to be in constant contact and hanging out all the time, but life and maturity redefined my roles of friendship.  Everyone is busy, everyone has jobs, family, worries, pressures, husbands, boyfriends, fiances, and other friendships that they need to balance.  So friendship became more about keeping our finger on the pulse of each other's life.  Staying in touch and making most of the time we have together.

But lately I've been feeling a little bit disconnected, like I can't quite fit into myself all the way and it's making it difficult for me to fit into my friendships.  I recently went on a girls overnight trip with some friends and I had a blast, but I always felt like I was on the peripherry, on the fringe of things.  Like everyone else got something that I didn't quite get.  Did you ever just get an "off" vibe when you're in a group?  That's how it was.

Then with my core group of friends there was a baby shower and they didn't ask me, my sister, or our other friend to chip in with them.  That kind of stung a bit since we're all friends.  It made me think that it's more like we're two groups of friends...the 5 of them and the 3 of us.  Maybe it's silly, even a bit immature, and I should just pull up my big girl panties, but it kind of bothered me.

I guess all aspects of life go through highs and lows, peaks and valleys.  


Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

I know that feeling but it's been a while! Haven't spent a long chunk of time with a group of girls in a long time. It sounds like you have a lot of friends, so it makes sense that you won't ALL be bffs all the time. I think that's normal. Friend drama is the worst! Maybe that's why I don't have many. Ha!

Jo said...

After dinner with some friends the other night I came home and told my husband that as much as I love my friends I really feel like I don't have much in common with them. So yeah I totally get how you are feeling.

It will get better, I think it comes and goes in stages. Just keep at it.

Aaryn Rubin said...

I'm sorry...friend drama really sucks. It really is true what they say-you only need to surround yourself with 1 or 2 really good friends...I hope things turn around for you soon!
Have you thought about just being open and asking them why you weren't included, or at the very least telling them you were hurt?

EstheticGoddess said...

I think the more women you get together the more this type of thing happens. I have had the same best friend since before kindergarten. We text everyday. A lot of silly stuff mixed with real life happenings. I think one good friend that you know you can count on or say anything to is all you need.

healthyactivist said...

Isn't it amazing how we never grow out of this friend ups and downs stuff? It doesn't seem like guys have the same problem. Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt post. I'm sure we can all relate.

Tricia said...

I do know that feeling. And I think it is all a cycle, just like everything. But it's tough when you're in the middle of it. :/

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