I broke my own cardinal rule:
Don't compare your life to those you see on social media. You're comparing your behind the scenes to their highlight reel.
I recently started following a girl on IG that I was fairly close with in high school. Her photos were beautiful. The highlight reel to what looked like a sparkling life. She looks beautiful, all tanned and toned. Her clothes fit her and her body is amazing. Because, as her quotes suggest, she's disciplined. She's a yogi. Photo after photo of intricate, and awe inspiring yoga poses. Trips to Puerto Rico. Cocktails at sunset. Pictures of her and her friends at fun locales. A cool apartment in NYC. A wardrobe to die for. A sparkling life.
Now she might look at my life and be envious. Envious of my beautiful and happy kids. My lovely home. My happy marriage. Sometimes life looks better from the outside in.
But I'll be honest, I became envious, a little downright jealous. I know what you're going to say, "the grass is always greener" right? And I know she might be fighting her own private battles, as we all do in our own way, but more or less it stirred something inside of me.
I've been in a bit of a rut lately. A rut with my writing. A rut with my life. While I love and crave routine, my routine has become a little too predictable. Go to work, come home, squeeze in a 20 minute workout dvd, make dinner, get the kids to bed, watch TV.
I want to take yoga classes and have cocktails with Andy at sunset. I want to write a book. I want to take a class. I want to go shopping. I want to look in the mirror and not hate the body that bore and nourished my two little girls. I want to add some sparkle to an already happy life.
So what's holding me back? That voice in my head, we'll call it fear, whispering:
You can't. You're not good enough. You have no time. All you have is excuses. You'll never do it. You don't have the money. You don't have the support.
Like a loop in my head. I really am my own worst enemy. I'm just not sure how to let go of the fear, of the excuses and really push myself to live my fullest life.