Thursday, April 3, 2014

Every So Often

I'm not what you would call a sentimental mother.  I've seen women reduced to tears at the mere thought of packing away newborn clothes.  I've always felt a bit out of place in that respect because while there are pro's and cons of each stage, I've always been eager to see what the next stage of development will bring.

Pros:  squishy and little and snuggly
Cons: needs to feed every hour

Pros:  can sit up and crawl and play and is just so loving their place in the world
Cons: wants to put everything in their mouth, tries to stick their fingers in electrical sockets

Pros: can officially be bribed/reasoned with, can do fun things in public
Cons: opinionated and psychopathic

Pros: So fun and independent and smart.  Enjoy spending time together
Cons:  stubborn and fresh

I have no idea what comes next, but I'll keep you posted.

Anyway...I really enjoyed Arya as a newborn, mostly because I knew it was fleeting.  I'd experienced how fast it passes first hand with Isabella.  I didn't intend to waste those fleeting moments lamenting for more sleep and pining for more "me" time.  I knew it would come.  But even though I knew she was my last, I still enjoyed it, but was ready for the next stage when it was time.  I love when they get more independent, can engage more, and interact more.

But every so often I see a pregnant woman's belly and I get nostalgic for the sweet seed of life kicking inside me.  Every so often I see Arya looking more like a kid and less like a baby and it takes my breath away.  Every so often I think about what it's going to be like when my littles are big and don't need me anymore.  Will I feel sad?  Nostalgic?  Free?

I don't know.  All I can do is enjoy each stage as it comes and embrace the ones to come.


Madonna said...

Alec will be 18 months on the 7th. There are moments when I miss having a "baby," but then I come to my senses and hell, no! I'm good with two and I am fine to just hold a baby and give him back to his mom afterwards. Alec is growing more independent and I'm truly enjoying these stages so much more. I packed away his 18 months clothes a couple of months ago and I didn't even shed a tear and I am okay with that.

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