Wednesday, April 30, 2014

On Being Done

I am done having babies.  I know it deep in my heart and mind that our little family of four is complete. There's no yearning, no baby fever, no twitchy ovaries, zip.

I'm happy with that decision.

I thought I'd have a difficult time having Andy come around because I know that he has always really wanted to have a son.  He loves his girls to pieces, but I know deep down he wants a son to do "boy" things with.  For a hot minute he was really on the fence about having a third, but since Arya is nearly one and still isn't sleeping through the night, he's come down off that fence.

There's something really bittersweet about knowing that Arya will be my last little baby.  It makes me slow down a bit more, enjoy her a bit more, savor each stage.  It also makes the annoying phases and habits seem trivial in the larger scheme of things.

I don't feel sad or sentimental when instead of packing away her clothes for a future baby, I donate them.  I keep a few outfits that are attached to fond memories and off the rest go.  When I see a pregnant woman I don't envy her.  When I hold a newborn baby I have no qualms about passing her back to her mother.

I'm enjoying this stage of our family where we are still growing into ourselves, but not continuing to multiply.

Now we just need to do something about a permanent form of birth control.  Andy has agreed to get the big snip.  He actually had an appointment in February but chickened out at the last minute.  Candy ass. But apparently he's gotten his courage up and is ready to give it another go.  I told him that if he doesn't get it done by June I'm getting my tubes tied, because I've only had one period since the baby was born because I'm still nursing and I don't like not having a monthly reminder that I'm not pregnant.


Madonna said...

Our family is complete, too. Actually, I'm pretty sure my husband would divorce me if we had another kid - ha! The other day I was surrounded by newborns and I only wanted to hold one, not have one to take home as two is more than enough most days. And now when Alec wakes up in the middle of the night, I snuggle him up instead of bitching about it. Before long, he'll be grown up and not wanting to snuggle.

Cyndy @ Back in the Bush said...

I had three, had my tubes died, then got divorced, all by the age of 29. So I had my times of feeling regretful but now I am totally fine with it. My new and husband said yesterday "I have an idea - we could adopt a kid!" And I politely replied "Hell No". We are 41 and 42, our kids are 13, 18 and 21. NO WAY DUDE, I'm ready to be a Grandma!!

EstheticGoddess said...

Your hubby can teach your girls guy things! Like sports, fishing, hunting, change the oil in car, how to change the o ring on a toilet. How cool would that be! They will be totally well rounded young women who will be able to take care of themselves and be independent. I say this because I had 3 boys and while the ex did boy things with them, I taught them to sew a button on their clothes, cook a few meals, clean, and do laundry. It's all good!

AwesomelyOZ said...

I'm once divorced and have a son that resulted from that union, love my son but I feel as though I may be done even though I have my new partner which I adore. He doesn't want kids at all and is happy with my son as a way to complete our family but others keep imposing their opinions on our needs to "have" to have kids - having my son was rough, it was a tough labor so I'm not sure if I'm built to do that again. So for now, our family is complete and I couldn't be happier! Glad your family is too :) Wrap it up! Have a great one Melissa! -Iva

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Oh I hope I feel that way after this little man comes out! I want to be done and feel complete so bad, but I still think I'm going to have a hard time saying goodbye to this stage of my life. Ps - "candy ass" made me seriously lol. :)

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