Wednesday, July 2, 2014

I Don't Quite Fit

Social media is a beautiful and terrible thing.  It allows us to share our lives and connect with people we thought who were for sure out of our lives, lost somewhere in the sands of time.  But now we can know what the girl who sat behind us in homeroom 10 years ago ate for dinner last night and we know that the guy who grew up next door from us is "feeling excited" about the World Cup.

But it also allows us to feel vulnerable...to see what we're missing out on, to see what we "should" be doing.  For example, it seems that every group I've ever been a part of is still as thick as thieves, save for one...me.

The girls I went to grammar school with are all still BFF's.  They've been friends for half their life time. Their kids are friends.  They get together for birthdays and play dates and weddings.  They're each other's bridesmaids and god mothers and so on and so forth and I wonder how I faded out?  Was I ever really "in" in the first place?  Did I just drift?  Do I drift?

Even the girls I was friends with in high school.  They meet for drinks.  Some of them are closer than others I'm sure, but a big chunk of them are active in each other's lives.  But again, not me.

It leaves me to wonder what is "wrong" or "off putting" about me.  Is there something unfriendable about me?  I love the friends I have now.  My friends at work have been in my life for nearly ten years. My main group of girlfriends have been there for me just as long, but they've been friends since they were kids.  I don't have anyone in my life at this point who knows anything about me when I was growing up.

6 comments:

Karen Greenberg said...

I wonder if it is a matter of priorities. Did you choose to put your time and effort into your husband and family rather than going out with the girls? I see some of my high school friends are still pretty tight, too, and I realize that I just put my efforts into different parts of my life. I feel a little left out, but I am happy with the friends who know me now. I am a much different person than I was 20 years ago, so I am okay with not being part of the crowd that I was in, though we still catch up via Facebook. I doubt it is anything "unlikable" about you.

a105cf96-9b04-11e3-abb6-000f20980440 said...

As someone who knew you awhile back, there isn't really anything off-putting about you. I found you to be a likeable person and would have liked to have remained friends with you had circumstances in our lives been different.

Madonna said...

As someone who just moved back to her hometown, I know where you are coming from. But when I graduated, I left and never really came home. There was no FB or Instagram to keep in touch with (at the time) and I'm slowly trying to reach out and make play dates and grab lunch with old friends. The other tough part is so many of them had kids right out of HS so they have teenagers or don't have kids, so we are just in two different places in our lives. I'm sure there is nothing unlikeable about you, but the timing didn't coincide to maintain those solid friendships.

EstheticGoddess said...

Melissa, I was only on Facebook for a short time and found it to be so phony. Plus I don't care what someone is have for dinner! I have one good friend who I have known since before kindergarten. WE may not see each other all the time but we text everyday. I can say anything to her and vice versa without judgement. That one friendship means more to me than any other semi-friend. If you have one friend like that it is all you need. No matter what part of your life that you met them!

Kristin Faulkenberry said...

Please remember.. just because there are pictures on Facebook of all your friends together doesn't mean that they get together all the time. It may just be a once in a while thing. Pictures are those things you "pose" for.. so maybe its all just a picture and nothing more. (I hope that makes sense) Your family has to come first, theres no doubt about that. Keep the friends that are genuine...even if that means its just one or two. Really, who cares if you've known them forever or just met them a year ago.

Ana Lynn Amelio said...

It doesn't have to mean that you are unlikable or off putting, like others have said. It may mean that you had different priorities or your lives started going in separate directions. Treasure the friends you have now - I am pretty sure you have changed since the time you were growing up and friends you have now, know you as the person you are today - your past shouldn't matter in that case.

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