Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Summer Burn Out

This summer has been very...interesting.  I remember last summer looking at my tiny newborn daughter and thinking, "Wow, next summer she'll be one and it's going to be so much fun!"

Clearly I was baby drunk and had completely blacked out on what it is actually like to have a one year old.  It's kind of like living with a drunken dare devil.  She falls a lot, likes to climb on things, and is like a danger magnet.

Seriously, I take her in the backyard and she wants to eat rocks.  I take her in the pool and she wants to jump in the deep end.  We go in the front yard and she tries to run into the street.  She's crazy.

She is also obsessed with me.  If I'm cooking breakfast she's crying at my feet.  If I'm sitting on the couch she's clamoring to get on my lap.  If I leave a room, she follows me.  Forget it if I try to hug or love on Isabella, she comes right over and tries to smoosh Isabella out of the way.  She runs around the house calling "mommy, mama, mom" all day long.  Cute for a little while, but I've been off for a month. Day in and day out it's mommy stalking.

Then there's the nursing.  I swear she nurses just as much now as she did when she was a newborn.  It's so draining.  I know she's not doing it out of hunger, more like comfort.  She never took a pacifier but I'm about THISCLOSE to seeing if she'll take one just so she'll stop lifting up my shirt.  If I try to tell her no or distract her and she flips out crying hysterical.  I'm not in a huge rush to totally stop our nursing relationship, but this is ridiculous.

Then there's Andy who has been working tons of overtime and I feel like every overtime shift he takes is a midnight shift.  I feel like I'm always alone and like I'm trying to balance it all on my own.  My mom is a super big help, but it's not the same as when Andy is here.  I don't feel guilty having him do things for/ with the kids or the house.  I just feel like I've barely spent any time with him this summer.

I love summer vacation.  I love not having to rush around in the morning getting ready for work.  I love not having to commute any where.  But I'm starting to feel a little burnt out!  I give stay at home moms like all the credit in the world because right about now, work doesn't seem so bad.

Until I'm at work and then I'm pining for summer vacation.  Well next year they'll be 2 and 6...that has to be easier right?


Ashley said...

I'm with you on the burn out! Next summer should be easier - at least I keep telling myself. Mine are 7, 5, 3, 17 months. One year olds are hard outside!!

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