Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Bully

Isabella loves school.  She loves her teacher.  She loves to learn.  She loves her friend.  What she does NOT like is the bully who sits at her table.

Lately she's been complaining about a kid who sits next to her...let's call him Fred.  So Fred has been pretty much harassing the people at his table.  He's called them losers, tattle tales, said he wouldn't be their friend if they told on him, and he even made up a song about a little boy that made him cry.  I tried to tell Isabella to ignore him, to tell him to stop, and to tell her teacher.  She wouldn't because she didn't want Fred to be upset with her.  She's kind and passive to a fault.

So I e-mailed the teacher and explained the situation and she changed Isabella's seat.

Well the next day Isabella comes home and says that Fred PUNCHED her in the stomach on the playground.  Punched.  In the stomach.  On the playground.

She was so sad because she didn't understand how her good friend could hurt her.  I wanted to tell her that her "friend" is a little tool, but I decided that it would be wiser to just tell her to stay away from him.  I also told her that if he hits her again to hit him back.  I don't care what your stance on that piece of advice is, I want my daughter to be able to defend herself.

I had a very long phone conversation with the teacher about Fred, Isabella, Fred's parents, and the situation.  She seemed like she was all on board with it and was calling his parents and informing the lunch aides of the situation.  We spoke for a long time and I felt good about the conversation.

Apparently whatever she said to Fred's parents really made an impact because there hasn't been another peep out of Isabella's mouth about Fred since.  I've followed up with the teacher and she hasn't seen any misbehavior in the class since.

See what happens when parents take responsibility and hold their children accountable for their action instead of becoming defensive and entitled?  Changes are made.


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